Fireflies
by butIdoLOVEyoU
Summary: He was blank. And his fears, his anxieties were reborn, like a butterfly in a chrysalis, they gnawed at him every day and with each passing day, they morphed into uncontrollable feelings of hate and despair,and of loneliness. That was, until Ritsuka.


**Disclaimer:** Not the rightful owner of Loveless or any of its characters.

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Loveless: Fireflies

-butIdoLOVEyoU-

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!!!!...Chapter 0: One-shot...!!!!

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MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE~! To cynical puppeteer: I hope you enjoy your giftfic. I've ranted about it on my Lj. Now I'm off I'm to look at my giftpics. XD

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_How many times do I have to be torn?_

_I agonize over it and become resentful_

_Even though I see the inescapable outcome_

_I can't give you up_

_I want only the breathing you_

```Monster by Super Junior```

_----§----_

With eyes closed, Soubi slowly exhaled a puff of smoke from his lips.

The night felt cool. Wind occasionally pick up in speed, dragging the grass he laid on across his cheek. He briefly opened his eyes. Fireflies danced in the air. For the most part their light radiated green. He slightly turned to Ritsuka who sat beside him, chin resting on his knees, arms wrapped around his legs, eyes fascinated by what he saw.

_He's truly an angel, _Soubi thought, awed by the fascination splayed in Ritsuka's eyes.

"Have you ever caught a firefly?" He asked, breaking the silence.

"No." Ritsuka answered without breaking eye contact with the hundreds of fireflies that buzzed in the air.

"Well, do you want to catch one?" Soubi sat up and flicked a strand of hair out of his face.

"Why?" Ritsuka turned to him, confusing dancing in his eyes.

"It's what Japanese children do during summer, catch insects and keep them as pets."

"Won't we confine them to solitude then?"

A wry smile graced Soubi's lips. "Not everyone is as considerate as you Ritsuka."

Ritsuka turned back to the fireflies without a word. Soubi took a drag from his cigarette. He watched as the green lights from the flickering fireflies radiated through the curtain of smoke. They were both in the open fields not far from where Ritsuka lived. In the field where they had both fought Sleepless and where Ritsuka had found him, after he was defeated by Zero.

Soubi turned to watch Ritsuka. It was true; he did resemble his previous sacrifice. They shared the same dark hair, the same facial structure. They were brothers after all. Yet, they were exact opposites. Seimei was Beloved while Ritsuka was Loveless. They were day and night in Soubi's eyes. _Innocence versus __treacherousness_, he thought.

Soubi reached a hand to his throat. There was not a day where he did not think of when he became Loveless. He was now Beloved in name, no, in spirit. The name had begun to heal from around his throat, if ever so faintly. Still, despite being Loveless, he was mendable. It had been weeks since he last met Seimei, but the incident of that day would not leave his mind. He had yielded to Seimei's word; he had obeyed a master that no longer was his own.

Soubi closed his eyes. He dug his hands into the hard, cold surface of the ground. His fingers yanked at the grass. He feared. He was anxious. What would happen if Seimei made another request from him? Would he be able to deny it, for Ritsuka's sake? Soubi did not think so. After all, he was accessible. He was blank.

He took a look at the fireflies. Maybe, since it was not predestined for him to have a name he could rewrite his own. His fate. Soubi turned his eyes away from the fireflies. No matter the wishful thinking, he was already the mantled butterfly. His destiny had already been written. That of pain and eternal servitude to a master he no longer loved.

He was blank. And his fears, his anxieties were reborn, like a butterfly in a chrysalis, they gnawed at him every day and with each passing day, they morphed into uncontrollable feelings of hate and despair, of loneliness and uselessness. That was, until Ritsuka. Ritsuka gave him hope, but even still, Soubi could not stop thinking the way he had for years.

Butterflies were beautiful, but only when they had little to live. When their days were numbered because, who cared for the fuzzy caterpillar? The one unsure of its future. The one that stumbled into a future blindly, not knowing how fragile it would become to the worlds cruelty.

When the butterfly blossomed and it was fragile, did anyone bother with it? Soubi knew that no matter the time, he still danced in Seimei's palm. His wings tattered by deceit. The deceit that brought him to Ritsuka, the same one that damaged the kindred spirit within Ritsuka. Soubi knew himself as damaged goods, from Ritsu-sensei to Seimei and now Ritsuka, poor Ritsuka who trusted that he could fly once more.

Soubi admitted that he had strength. He was a cornered butterfly, if not caught yet. But he was strong only because he persisted in fluttering his tattered wings because, he sought to protect Ritsuka.

With every fiber of his body, he loved Ritsuka. From the time Seimei blabbered about his brother, Soubi had grown fond of Ritsuka. At first when he said 'I love you' he did so to give Ritsuka hope, trust, and refuge even. Now, he loved Ritsuka wholeheartedly.

"Soubi, where do fireflies come from?" Ritsuka broke Soubi's train of thought.

Soubi took a moment to answer. He did not want his voice to betray his pleasant demeanor. "They are said to be the spirits of kamikaze pilots. Though, that's a bit impossible since I'm sure they have existed long before human kind started warfare."

"Maybe in a latter life, we will be reborn as fireflies instead of humans. Or even butterflies."

"As fireflies," Soubi assured.

"Why do you think so?"

"They shine with radiance, with the innermost purity that they're light permits. You resemble a firefly, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka thought about it. Fireflies were transient, the current him was a temporary Ritsuka too. He knew it was not what Soubi meant, but still. "A butterfly is so beautiful."

"Yes Ritsuka, and even if we are reborn as trees, I'll be the leaves to shield you from the sun's glare."

"But leaves are fragile."

"Exactly, it's because you are the pillar."

Ritsuka crawled the short distance between him and Soubi. He climbed into Soubi's arms. He searched Soubi's wounded eyes, shielded behind glasses. "Adults say weird things." He finally concluded, knowing that whatever pained Soubi this night, he would not say.

Soubi chuckled. "That means that you too will one day say weird things."

Ritsuka stared into Soubi's eyes. "Why does Seimei have two fighters?" The question had been on his mind for days.

"I don't know." Soubi answered truthfully.

"Did you know he had another fighter, aside from you?"

Soubi threw his head back. The ends of his air almost touched the grass that danced with the slight wind. "It's not possible to have two fighters, or it is said to be impossible. Before I was assigned as Seimei's fighter, it was rumored he already had one."

"You were assigned to Seimei? I thought a fighter and a sacrifice found each other, like Ai and Midori before truly becoming Breathless."

"I had no name to begin with and Soubi seemed interested in me so I was given to him as his fighter."

"What do you mean you had no name?"

Soubi lifted his head to stare at Ritsuka. "I'm Blank."

Ritsuka hesitated. "D-Did Seimei do this to you then?" He lightly touched Soubi's neck.

"He did."

Ritsuka gasped. His brother did such a painful and cruel thing? He branded Soubi as if he were an object and not human.

"I'm sorry." Soubi apologized.

"Why are you sorry?" Ritsuka meet Soubi's eyes. "I don't hate you for telling me." He then said, burrowing his face in the crock of Seimei's neck when he said nothing.

There was silence. "Shall we get married on a night like this?" Soubi's question startled Ritsuka.

"Married?! B-but you and I are both guys."

Soubi laughed. "I know that. But if I register you under my family name it'll be like getting married." Soubi took Ritsuka's hand and kissed his ring finger.

"Even still, only people who love each other get married." Ritsuka refused to look up at Soubi. His heart pounded furiously and his cheeks burned.

"I love you, Ritsuka."

"Love me you say?" Ritsuka briefly looked up at Soubi. "I don't think it's the type of love to get married.

"How do you think I love you?"

"Out of pity. Because I'm loveless."

"Nonsense." Soubi smothered Ritsuka in hug. "I've turned into a pedophile only because I love you with all the raging passion in my heart."

Ritsuka laughed a bit. "It's quite true. You are still not out of sixth grade and I'm already twenty."

"Why do you"—Ritsuka stuttered—"l-l-love m-me?"

"It's hard to explain without sounding like a pervert." Soubi planted a kiss on Ritsuka's cheek.

"Tell me."

"Is that an order or a request?"

"It's an order."

Soubi smirked. "It's like you're already an adult trapped in a kid's body. I love that about you. I love how you have faith in people, even those who abuse on you." Soubi pulled away from Ritsuka to slide a hand down Ritsuka's bandaged cheek. "You fear yet you do not show it. You are lonely yet you are strong. You cling onto hope and despite what you hear; you remain loyal only to what you know as truth." Soubi leaned his forehead against Ritsuka's.

"I love your innocence, your purity. Your eyes that let me look deep into your heart," Soubi took a hold of Ritsuka's face and kissed his closed eyelids.

"I love the sound of your voice." Soubi carefully lifted Ritsuka's face. He could see the boy's embarrassment but he could not stop himself. He pressed his lips against Ritsuka's. They were soft, they were warm. Soubi angled his head, his tongue lightly probed at Ritsuka's mouth. His eyes were locked on Ritsuka's flushed face. When Ritsuka did not resist him, he ventured even further. His tongue lightly touched Ritsuka's before it graced the roof of his mouth. Ritsuka's trembling fingers grabbed a hold of Soubi's shirt. He responded by leaning into Soubi.

Soubi pulled back. "I love your warmth," he said as he kissed a trail of butterfly kisses down Ritsuka's neck. His nose lingered at the base of Ritsuka's throat. "I love your scent."

Ritsuka sat perfectly still in Soubi's arms. He could feel Soubi's breath caress his heated skin, his lips caress the area around his throat. Ritsuka took a shaky breath. "I-I-I-I'm—" Ritsuka squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm still too young to get married now." He rushed on to say. Knowing that in his words, he was giving Soubi hope to purse the topic again, when he wasn't too young to get married.

"You'll be quite the stud when you grow older." Soubi laughed, backing away from Ritsuka. He admired the tint of flush on the bridge of Ritsuka's nose. "You won't have time to consider me anymore with all the girls hanging by your arm."

"That's not true!" Ritsuka promptly answered, startling himself. Soubi only gazed at him. _It's now or never, _he then thought, encouraging himself."You're always on my mind. When I think of you, I always feel weird." He fished out meekly. He attempted to cover his face with an arm but Soubi promptly pulled him into his arms.

Laughing, Soubi embraced Ritsuka. He knew that no matter the time, the love he had for Ritsuka would never leave him.

"Ritsuka, no matter what happens you'll always be the one I love."

Ritsuka looked up at Soubi and nodded his head. He, too, embraced Soubi. "That means you'll always stay with me, right?"

"Even when you don't want me too."

Ritsuka smiled. He continued to let Soubi embrace him. They both sat, comforting in each other's arms watching fireflies drift by them.

"Why do they have flashing lights?" Ritsuka asked, curious about nature.

"It's the way they mate. The male will flicker its light in hope of attracting a female firefly." Soubi snickered. "When you're ready to mate, just send out a glow and I'll respond." He laughed and Ritsuka pulled away to pinch both sides of his cheek.

"You really are a pervert." Ritsuka accused, eyebrows knitting together. Yet his heart almost lurched out of his chest at Soubi's insinuation.

"It's gotten so late. I should take you home." Soubi dived in for a quick kiss. "Shall I put you to bed?" He asked. Ritsuka could not help the blush. He looked away. "I see my perverted thoughts are growing on you." Soubi then said, adjusting his glasses. He laughed when Ritsuka pouted.

"Well come on. I've got to get you home. The longer we stay out here, the closer it gets to midnight."

"Is something happening at midnight?" Ritsuka asked as he stood up.

"You don't know?" Soubi feigned to be shocked. "It's when adults are raging with lust. And like you told me once before, you can't lose your ears now or your mom would freak out." Soubi laughed at Ritsuka's dumfounded look.

He took Ritsuka's hand in his. "Shall we come back tomorrow to catch some fireflies?"

"I don't want to confine them." Ritsuka reminded, keeping up with Soubi as they strode out of the clearing.

"We don't have to keep them. We can let them just as soon as we catch some."

Ritsuka made a pondering face. "I'll have to think about it."

There was a brief silence before Soubi broke it with one of his teasing remarks. "When do you think will be the right time to pay Oka-san a visit?"

"A visit for what?"

"I have to properly ask for your hand in marriage."

Ritsuka gasped. "You're kidding, right?"

"Maybe, maybe not. Though, I think your friend Yuiko will murder me."

"Why do you say that?"

"Ah nothing." He said, smiling at Ritsuka's unawareness. Soubi then took a look behind him. The fireflies continued emit their pure light and while his future with Ritsuka looked a bit shaky, without Ritsuka he was confined to darkness. Soubi squeezed Ritsuka's hand, he would never let go of it. "I love you, Ritsuka."


End file.
